Mr Stig of the Waste Transfer Centre


I’ve just come back from a visit to my local Waste Transfer Centre. That’s right – you heard correctly. No dumping or tipping of any sort was done. Just calm responsible transference of all my crap onto a pile of other people’s transferred crap.

I think I do them a disservice as they report – on the way in – that 78.5% of “transferred” stuff is recycled. I was very impressed. It made me want to diss-assemble the old Ikea wardrobe I was throwing away, into its component parts, stick it back in a piece of cardboard – of which there was loads lying around. Draw a few stickmen having sex on the front to approximate an Ikea instruction manual and then give it a daft Scandinavian name. A student from somewhere would have taken it away. But I didn’t. I dumped my stuff and drove off quick before they discovered I lived in the wrong Borough.